BadPopcorn » Fourth Grade: The beginning of the end

Fourth Grade: The beginning of the end

Written by Moe on January 9, 2006 |

I had my whole life planned out and not a care in the world. I was living the high life; no worries, no responsibilities, no nothing. Then came fourth grade, and with it Katrina Walters. Before fourth grade and Ms. Walters (I doubt she is still is Ms), my goals were small and easily attainable.

Get more Oreos for lunch

Get a basketball before recess

Convince my mom and dad that the latest gaming system is well worth the money.

Every new day was a shot to cross out two of three goals. Waking up and realizing such opportunity fills a man with spirit and strength that he will only wake to a few times in his future. I was living the high life. Well, as high as a four foot kid could.

I remember it well. My teacher, Mrs. Bolden, was rewarding the class by letting us watch a movie for a few days. We had just completed our latest math adventure, multiplication. Although I learned how to multiply, the greater lesson was incentive. Mrs. Bolden had set up an interesting incentive program to induce her students to do learn times tables. Yes you guessed it, sundaes. Do you know why parents tell their children not to take candy or ice cream from strangers? They know that children will do for ice cream and candy what many adults do for fortune and fame. Just about anything and more often anyone. When you are young ice cream and candy are gold, it is the greatest of desires. Well that, and getting a basketball for lunch recess. Mrs. Bolden used this to her advantage.

The Sundae Program

Each student started out with a banana and was rewarded with a scoop of ice cream, cherry, chocolate syrup, and etc every time he or she passed a test.

Each student’s sundae progress was displayed on the wall as a constant reminder of their chase for the chocolate chalice.

What went wrong? Well, the students began to group themselves by their sundae progress. We did not judge each other on race, class or gender. We classified each other by chocolate scoops, sprinkles, cherries, and of course whip cream. The wall of progress was a constant reminder that some kids were just better then others. The day we got our sundaes, all the students sat with their groups. It made sense. I had a friend named Travis, and Travis was dumb. I don’t mean dumb as he didn’t try, I mean hooked on phonics dumb. Travis only had a banana and a scoop of ice cream. The boy could multiply by 0 and 1 (probably dominates binary). I myself did pretty well and had a huge sundae. First, sharing was out of the question. That sundae was my spoils and to be enjoyed alone! Now, how could I take my huge sundae and go sit next to Travis? That wouldn’t be right. Consequently I sat with the other kids that did well. We ate our sundaes and made fun of the kids that had less. That is when it happened.

I’m sitting there eating my sundae, quite possibly living the pinnacle moment of my life. Someone taps my shoulder and hands me a note.

Do you like Katrina Walters?

I didn’t know Katrina that well. Actually I didn’t know her at all. I never even thought about girls. However, I looked over to where she was sitting and saw a group of girls giggling. It may have been the devil’s work, but I checked “yes.” It was kind of like the Matrix. When Neo is sitting there and he is offered the red pill or blue pill. I wanted to see how deep this rabbit hole went (that metaphor is funny on so many levels).

Everything changed! My goals got screwed up. Now I had to share my lunch so the extra Oreos were out the equation. I had to share my soda half the time. Playing basketball was hard enough during recess, let alone getting a basketball. Now I had to show up near the swings and write little notes back and forth. I thought it couldn’t get worse. Sadly, it was just the beginning of the end. Jr High, Highschool, College, and their after were soon to come.

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